Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
