your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She is in my trunk
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
