No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
