She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
