just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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