That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
