I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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