you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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