The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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