I wanna passion pit in your ass
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
