you have to choose: penises or morals?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I deserve this hangover.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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