At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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