Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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