That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Ketchup is God's man juice
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
