I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
