Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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