Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
