I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
