Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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