Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
