Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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