1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Sorry about my life...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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