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saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
nutella sex= disaster
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
