You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
