the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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