been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
