Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm having to shit out rocks
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
