I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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