You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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