S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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