Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
