You made me cry and you don't even care
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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