508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
