HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
