i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
