The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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