i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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