it wasn't lemon gatorade
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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