Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
