I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Is Oprah even human
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
