Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You should frame my arrest warrant.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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