I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
