Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
