i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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