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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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