Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
