1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
