I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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