Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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