I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize