i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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