Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
