i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
