is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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