Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
