does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize