I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Found the puke drawer
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
