I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
