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Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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