My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You are the jesus of drinking
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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