It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just high enough for therapy.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
