Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
