i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
