yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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