hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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