If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You need a sexual gate keeper
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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