Umm I'm too high to move.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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