You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If I die, sorry about rent.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
