dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
