Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
