stop calling my apartment porn island.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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