I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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